Facebook Free, but Not Faceless

I often refer to my Facebook decision of June 2011 and the life-shift it gave me. This is the letter I wrote to explain the closing of my account...

"Facebook Free, but Not Faceless"

Dear family and friends,

You may have noticed that things are disappearing from my Facebook page, or since you are reading this, that my status is indicating departure. It’s true: I’m deleting my FB account.

What this letter is not:
1.    a “Dear John” letter (unless your name happens to be John – then consider it a friendly greeting!)
2.    a condemnation of those who use FB
What this letter is:
1.    my desire to stay in touch and ways we can do that
2.    an explanation for anyone who is, at this point, scratching their head

The good news: we have other ways to stay in touch! (My phone number is... My email address is...) And there’s other ways, too, which you’ll have to ask me since I don’t like posting too much personal info on here.

The slice: I’ve been on FB since fall 2007. I’m not against FB, or FB Users; this simply comes from my personal experience in the FB World. I know that some of you may disagree with me. And some of you may find yourselves with a similar experience. That’s not for me to make the call on, but here are the main reasons for closing my FB, summed up by two matters…

FB has taken away too much of my time. I admit: I’m addicted! I love people, and when I signed up, FB became a tool for me to connect with friends. That’s fantastic! But in my case, the unexpected happened… now 4 years down the road, I’m realizing that FB has actually been taking time away from the people I love and the people closest to me.  I have often signed on to check my inbox, only to find myself hours later looking at the clock, having forgotten what I signed on for.  Now the day is nearly over, or perhaps that evening phone call has gone by the wayside (for the 49th time.) I have actually lost sleep to FB. (How has it taken me this long to figure that out? Those around me: you know what I’m talking about! *blush*) With FB, there was never enough time to be online. And all of the sudden, there wasn’t any time to spend face to face with people or doing special things for them. Or, if there was, I was up all hours of the night trying to fit both in. (Random, not-so-random fact: Did you know that I have been sick more often in the last couple of years than during any time in my past? Interesting that it’s run parallel with my increase of FB use.)

FB has been feeding into the growing narcissism in me. Okay, this one is a little harder to explain, since me and God are the only ones who can see what’s going on in my head and my heart. I’ll take a stab at some examples, anyway:

In photos, we can look as good (or bad,) as we want. Lighting, blemish tools, scenery… I’ve learned that a picture’s worth a thousand words. But for me, seeing people’s pictures hasn’t equalled knowing the person. Think about it: how many people can describe Elvis Presley, Carrie Underwood, Kate Winslet or Roberto Luongo? And tell me, of those people, how many know them personally? On a face to face, “I really know what’s going on with you” basis? Photos don’t equal relationship.

In my FB status, I can let people in on what I’m thinking. It’s swell to be expressive! Trouble is, sometimes I spend too much time thinking about my FB status. I’ve actually found myself driving down the road, or walking across town, completely consumed with a status idea. Granted, I’m a bit of a writer. But I haven’t had much time to write in years, aside from my one-liner profile posts. I actually wrote the following in my journal on June 28, 201o; almost a year ago: “Sometimes in life we are so busy rehearsing our Facebook status or posing in our profile photo shoot that we FAIL to notice our surroundings, we neglect those around us, and we forget that there’s more to life than staring at a screen inventing forms of shorthand. Have we become slaves to things built with human hands?” I guess it took a year for this to fully sink in.

This has been me. I’m asking forgiveness. I’ve seen firsthand the change that has taken place in me. And I don’t like it. I want to be focussed on others; not on me, or my kingdom.

I’m also ready to move on. There is more to my story than what you’ve just read, and I’m not going to post it on the internet (see the part about narcissism.) It’s not a deep dark secret, and I would be happy to share it with you if you are really interested, but you’ll have to ask.

I’m not going to close this letter by saying goodbye, since that would be counter-productive. This isn’t goodbye, this is hello. I can’t wait to get to know you. For real.

Love to each and every one of you,

Kathleen